What This Wedding Season Has Taught Me About Love and Personal Ceremonies
This wedding season has taken me to some very different places. I have had the privilege of accompanying a wedding in the Austrian mountains, a ceremony in a barn and another in a beautifully restored castle. In Gran Canaria, I have stood beside couples on a boat, among the dunes and in locations that could hardly have been more different from one another. Some weddings were large and traditional. Others were small and intimate. I have accompanied symbolic wedding ceremonies, elopements and vow renewals. And although every one of these weddings had its own atmosphere, one thing became especially clear to me again:
In the end, it is always about love. But that love looks different for every couple.
Every couple has their own recipe
The more couples I accompany, the more fascinated I become by how different relationships can be. Some couples are constantly making each other laugh. Others barely need words to understand one another. Some have already navigated major changes together. For others, love can be found in all those little everyday things that almost nobody notices from the outside. Over time, every couple develops their own recipe for a relationship. There is no universal combination of romance, humour, closeness, freedom, shared interests or plans for the future that makes a relationship work. And that is exactly why I don’t believe there can be one wedding ceremony that simply fits every couple. A personal wedding ceremony should not tell people what love is supposed to look like. It should tell the story of what your love looks like.
A personal ceremony begins with listening
That is why my real work as a wedding celebrant begins long before the moment when I stand in front of a couple with a microphone and my ceremony folder. It begins with conversations. With listening. With questions. And sometimes with stories that may seem completely insignificant at first.
How did you really meet? What still makes you laugh together after all these years? When did you realise that “you and me” was slowly becoming “us”? Which experiences have shaped you? What do you admire about each other? What occasionally drives you crazy? And what is it that, despite everything — or perhaps because of it — continues to bring you back to one another? Creating a truly individual and personal ceremony requires trust. A couple needs to be willing to open up a small part of their story to me. And I need to be willing to truly engage with it.
Becoming part of your story for a moment
Perhaps that is one of the most beautiful aspects of my work as a wedding celebrant. For a certain period of time, I am allowed to become a small part of the story of two people. I learn about their shared memories, discover special moments and sometimes hear about the challenges they have overcome together. From all these little pieces, a ceremony gradually takes shape. Words in which the couple can recognise themselves. A ceremony can be emotional. It can be light-hearted, funny, profound or surprising. Quite often, it is a little bit of everything. For me, what matters is not following a predefined format. My job is to create a ceremony that fits the way you love.
The setting changes – what matters remains
Of course, it makes a difference whether a wedding takes place in a castle, surrounded by mountains, inside a rustic barn or barefoot in Gran Canaria. The setting creates an atmosphere.
I have experienced large weddings surrounded by many guests and intimate moments where hardly anyone else was present.
I have met couples who wanted to celebrate their love with a big party and others for whom a quiet, intimate elopement was exactly right.
A vow renewal after many years together also tells a completely different story from the wedding of a couple who are only just beginning their journey together.
And yet there is one moment that connects all of these ceremonies:
The moment when the connection between two people becomes visible — and something you can actually feel.
What I am taking away from this wedding season
If this season has taught me anything, it is probably this:
Love does not need a particular setting. It does not need a certain number of guests. And it does not need to follow a particular format. What makes a wedding personal is not how extraordinary it may look from the outside. It is the story behind it. The little quirks. The decisions made together. Everything two people have experienced side by side. And that unique recipe that works only for them. As a wedding celebrant, I have the privilege of hearing those stories, experiencing a small part of them and eventually turning them into words. And perhaps that is exactly why this work continues to move me, even after so many ceremonies. Because no story ever repeats itself. And no two loves are exactly the same.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ) about personal wedding ceremonies:
What makes a wedding ceremony truly personal?
A personal wedding ceremony grows out of the couple’s own story. How they met, shared experiences, personality, humour, values and special memories can all become part of the ceremony. Instead of a standard wedding speech, this creates a ceremony in which the couple can truly recognise themselves.
How does a wedding celebrant get to know the couple?
Before the wedding, we have personal conversations in which I take the time to get to know the couple and their story. It is not simply about dates and facts, but above all about their relationship: shared experiences, special moments and the things that connect them.
Can a personal ceremony also be part of an intimate elopement or vow renewal?
Yes. A personal ceremony does not depend on the number of guests or the type of wedding. An intimate elopement or vow renewal can actually create plenty of space for personal words, memories and individual rituals.
